I have read so much about saints and great men attaining the Holy Realm, and have often wondered how immensely radiant and effulgent it must be. Sometimes, when my disobedient heart would stray away from my lessons, I would often wonder about reaching that great Radiance, and would long to attain it. I would promise myself that I would have nothing else to live for, if I ever got in contact with that Soulful Radiance.
But of course, people would scoff at me--a fourteen-year-old, and speaking on spirituality and such stuff!
So, off I go with it.
Life's just dragging on...and just recently, I've gotten a great desire to go to a foreign nation to study. I was flying away already, when a bundle of ACK (Amar Chitra Katha) comics put me back to my place.
I was reading comics on the lives of great social reformers, and their simple lives filled me with shame. I feel guilty of living in such a protected, cozy world, and not going out to help people out there. India's home to such great, lion-chested heroes--and what justice was I doing to them by indulging in stupid fancies?

And now, the big news. I've finally finished writing my first novel! My first novel guys! And I am on the fast-track to get it published!

But alas, isn't publishing quite quite a tedious job? Slow (and I say slow) and ever resting on tenterhooks?
The truth is, we might value our work a lot, and others might, too--but not the publisher. For him, it's just a bundle of papers waiting to be published. He doesn't care a damn about the fate of the book. Bitter, indeed--but the truth nonetheless.
I am currently reading Gandhiji's autobiography. And I am beginning to realize why he's called the Mahatma--and why he disliked being called thus. I'm not delving into it, no need to worry!

My life sucks...and yet it rocks!

AH...life's pretty much exams, studies, friends...and drives me damnation crazy (apologies, but I have a bad habit of cursing). This whole week, I was kept on my toes--studying, dance classes, preparing for the PSA, school responsibilities...with no respite at all, save for nights, which I reserve particularly to introspect, to think out my past, present and future, and my influences and other stuff.
Then, today afternoon, I was just idly browsing the net, when I came across some real visionaries, who, despite being very well-educated, chose to contribute to their society at large. There were people from all age groups--including a girl of my age! Seeing them, I wished I could, too. It's not that I don't want to. I have the resources too, to start. But...where is the permission? Where is the freedom to do so?
I don't bother. I try and do as much as I can for everyone else. It's every person's duty, too. And there's no better medium to do so that the great big World Wide Web! Oh, I revere this great community indeed!
I really don't know what's going on in Delhi, and pretty much everywhere. I mean, one one hand you get to see friends richer than Bill Gates probably (too exaggerating, I guess :P) visiting every popular country, shopping in the chicest malls, eating French cuisine and nonsense--and on the other hand, poor and destitute people being exploited worse than anyone else, humiliated and insulted just because they happened to be poor. They won't get a proper tap to wash because they've no money, they have to manage at the banks of dirty rivers; they won't get food because they don't have a sickly card, and so on.
But why am I talking about this, is what the reader would ask. I also belong to those upper-middle class families; I won't know anything about the plight of such people, and just end up giving a hypocritical and over-the-top report.
But what I want to tell you is: yes, even I have a heart, and so do many of my upper-class friends, who won't stop at helping someone in need. Only...we hope we get to, some day...
For now, exams are killing me as of now! I need to top in class, get a cool GPA and stuff, and I need to study-udy a lot. No problem, study comes to me naturally; I'm an academically inclined child, and so were my ancestors.
Strangely, I don't miss recreation in this time, particularly movies. Yes, I'm a movie buff, but in exam-time I am away in my own world. Anyways, the last movie I watched was Matru ki Bijlee ka Mandola...

It's so damn cold here, I am beginning to get sick of it (no, not the cold). Winters used to be my favourite season; I guess I've to change my mind! And that brings me to a curious thing: people would often ask me that in winters, people want to keep warm, while in summers, people want to keep cool. Why thus?
Must say, I found this intriguing at first, then fizzled out on realizing the answer myself--it's such a silly question! Simple enough: our body has an average temperature, and in seasons we feel hot or cold depending on the weather and our body temperature!
Oh dear, there I go again, talking nonsense!

And oh, good news. I shall be getting a Samsung Galaxy Note 2 within a year! Oh dear, am I thrilled! You see, my cousin got it on her bday, and my parents had promised it to me when I reach class XI--and that's hardly a year! Dear, I am sooo excited!
Until then, see ya!

I've finally ended up with my own blog now, at the age of fourteen. And I am slightly nervous, for I think of myself as a flighty butterfly, never staying and sticking to one thing, always tweaking with everything. Lord, hope I stick to this permanently!
As of now, i am sitting at home, typing away. It thundered and rained here terribly in Delhi in morning, and so mother asked me and my brother to take leave from school.
My mother. I do not share very cordial relations with her, for the simple cause that our ideologies clash terribly, also our views on what my future should be. She believes that it's her moral responsibility to see me through engineering college in Delhi (yes--only in Delhi) and a good, secure job.
But I don't think like that. I want to live an uninhibited, unusual life, away from conventions and securities. I want to bring a change in our nation, too--just like Malala, whom I idolize, despite she being the same age as me. I happen to be a rebellious girl, a girl who likes to live life on her own terms, so I shall indeed do my way, and not favour my life being dictated in my parents's terms.
I really want to bring some happiness, some change into the lives of the underprivileged and poor and helpless, and this is something I am ready to dedicate my life to. I want to be known to the world as a strong-thinking, independent girl, who knows what she has to do, and does it. And I am certainly not going to stand my mother poking her nose unnecessarily into my life.
Sorry for this, I believe this must have bored you--just an ordinary teen's rantings. But really, this is troubling me so much, that I can't sleep. I fear slightly, of defying my family's strong intellectual and cultural backing and going my free-spirited way. But I have faith in myself, and God, too, and hence I hope I succeed.
Oh! There I go again! I shall go on and on about myself, even though there's a good deal else to talk--like the recent Munirka rape case, or my school, or the stupid politicians and godmen (only God knows why they call themselves messengers of god and equality!) who continue to view women as someone to be trampled upon, to be insulted whenever they wished. Infact, I was considering going to a certain godman's residence (I hope you know who I'm talking about) and slapping him with the pointiest of my slippers--imagine my glee on the thought!
There're two types of ordinary people who are treated worst of all: women, and devotees.
Devotees, you may ask?
Yes, devotees, of course. The way some stupidly pious devotees climb on their knees to reach the sanctum sanctorum, donate a fortune to already-overflowing-with-money temples (Anyone listening?) and perform the silliest of rites and stuff in the name of religion or sin, I am beginning to wonder where our common sense has gone. Straight enough--why can't anyone see that these temples are just centres of money-making and profit, pretty much like a marketplace, where they trade in people's simple devotion in exchange for money? Indeed, the profits earned by such a temple would be enough to finish off poverty from India! Great, I say. Keep it up. This is going to lead to devastation--and I hope not until I live.
Oh dear, I have to study now! Comment, everyone--and thanks for visiting this blog!
Bye!